Friday, February 4, 2011

Eleven Years Ago

I need to write this out. Something for myself to read, to see with my own two eyes. Something to see in black and white instead of mulling over it in my head. So here I go...

Eleven years ago my life changed dramatically. I thought I knew what was in store, but in reality I had no idea. I’m weird, as in I celebrate anniversaries...even if they may be viewed as “sad” in one’s eyes, I celebrate them as a new beginning or freedom in my life. I think sometimes we too often look back on the past and dwell on the sadness, instead of looking to the future and what we’ve accomplished since then.

Eleven years ago I lost my leg due to an evil disease. A disease which I kicked it’s ass! Yeah!
I was scared, and only a mere 14 years old. A freshman in high school, I was supposed to be worried about boys, football games, and the latest high school drama of the day. That wasn’t the case for myself. I went in for surgery not knowing what to expect or how my life would turn out after everything was completed. I was so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to live a “normal” day to day life, but I’ve proved that wrong.

I never thought I would walk normally, but that was my first achievement. When I get tired, I limp. It’s human nature, but I still keep on trucking. I never thought I’d learn how to run, and I achieved that goal a year ago. Something that I need to keep up with more than I do. I never thought I would be able to ride a bicycle, but yet I went and COMPLETED a cycling class this week. Was I scared? God yes, I was. Although, I did it anyway.

The cycling class opened up my eyes to a lot of other adventures that I’ve yet to attempt because I didn’t know if I could do them. Or if I was strong enough. Or, or, or....I realized that my leg is weak, (My bad one) and so after taking the cycling class this week, I have been focusing on strengthening my quad muscles and gaining strength in that leg. I became frustrated with myself, because I didn’t realize how weak it really was, but I have to be proud that I’m trying to fix that problem. Every night J and I work on strengthening exercises. He pushes me when I don’t want to do them at all, and he really is my biggest supporter.

My goals this year: To strengthen my leg. To pursue adventures that I've yet to attempt. To be able to go up steps “normally”. I, right now, have to go up steps one at a time, because I don’t have enough strength in my leg to push myself up to the next step. Was I taught any differently? No, I wasn’t. And that saddens me, that therapy didn’t focus on the little things. Their main goal was to get me up and walking, and they succeeded that goal. So it is now up to me to focus on the little things.

I know that with my determination and motivation I can do anything. It make take me longer to achieve my goal than others, but it will be even more REWARDING when I do.


Kimbirdy said...

you are such an inspiring, amazing person! to not only power through your fear and take risks, but to also celebrate the major life changes that have come, for better or worse. as i get older i realize more and more that most things are only "good" or "bad" based on how i view them. and life is much more manageable when i change my "this is bad" thinking to "this is a challenge" thinking. thank you for sharing this part of yourself. it truly is inspiring to read!

Stacey Sargent said...

What an awesome story! Seriously, you are amazing! So great that you look at it as something you overcame! Seriously so awesome! Thanks for sharing!

ladaisi said...

Wow. What an amazing story. I'm sure you will achieve all of your goals!

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