Tuesday, February 19, 2013

A Cowboy

Last time I wrote I left you hanging, dangling from a cliff per se. I promised of BIG news, a new chapter in my life and well it's almost here. And, I'm sure you're hands are tired from clinging to the edge of the cliff, and you'd love for me to fill you in, right? Well, hold on just a little bit longer, I have a story to tell first.

There's this man whom has always had my heart. See, here he is. Isn't he handsome? That smile! Man, that smile! It's so infectious and warms my heart. This was right after Christmas this past year. He came in to town....after not seeing him for a LONG 4 years! It was like we had just seen each other yesterday.

His name is Joey. And yes, he's a cowboy. A true cowboy. His life everyday revolves around ranching, cattle & horses. And well, that's all I've ever dreamed of. One day I'll live out west, I always have said. People thought I was crazy. Why leave Kentucky? My response, "Why not?"

So, he & I. We've been friends for 20 years. I was 7. He was 10. There are so many childhood memories  that I remember. Him locking me out of his mom's office while eating a banana split, and standing at the window making me watch and not sharing. (I was 7, and damn it I wanted a piece of the dessert.) Shit, who am I kidding? I still love dessert! There are holidays spent with his family. There were many, many afternoons after school that he would harass the shit out of me, always pulling pranks on me and constantly trying to ONE UP me. And then there were OUR Friday nights. Where our entire group of friends & family would go to this restaurant EVERY.SINGLE.FRIDAY. night for dinner, laughs, and of course pitchers of beer (For the adults, of course). The entire group would always go back to his parent's store (tack shop), and adults would drink coffee w/ baileys and Joey and I would run up and down the street playing. Those are such vivid images for me, just like yesterday. They never cease to bring a smile to my face.

I remember the first time he kissed me. It was in 2005. He and I were sitting on his mom's front steps, talking. I had just broken up with my boyfriend. We were talking small talk. His arm was around me, and then his lips met mine. It was soft & gentle, and only lasted a few seconds. Those seconds somehow felt like an eternity; and I was left with wanting more. I thought he was just being a "guy" and that we both had gotten caught up in the moment. His dad told me to pack up and go back west with them. He'd find me a job and I could go to school at the university there. I never did.

There was Christmas 2006. Joey & his dad came in and I remember it being such a happy time. I was dating someone at the time, but chose to spend it with Joey instead. Joey's mom had a Christmas tree up, with delicious treats on the table for us to munch on throughout the day. Joey's dad, mom, & my mom sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee and telling stories. Joey bought me a Christmas gift that year, unknowingly to everyone. A pair of Montana Silversmiths earrings, calf ropers to be exact. They were beautiful, and I still wear them today.

Of course, there were sad times too. 2007,  the year we lost his dad. My tears fell just as hard as his. He asked me then to be his girlfriend, to move back to Oklahoma with him. I declined. I didn't want him to want me, simply because a tragedy had just happened. I should have known better. In my heart, it just wasn't right. Not yet. I flew out there to spend Easter weekend with he and his mom, to help ease the heartache that they were both going through. Joey and I were inseparable, and I remember being so sad to come back home. (I snuck this photo of him on my phone that year, and it's still probably one of my favorites.)

The last time I saw him until this past Christmas, was in 2008. I was in a relationship for close to 3 years, and well, he was busy living his life. There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't cross my mind. I wondered how he was, and occasionally would send him a text. He'd always respond, but it was always left at that. I had a boyfriend, and I thought I was happy at the time. And I heard that he was happy, too. His mom would always ask if I was still dating someone, just small talk I figured. His best friend met my boyfriend at the time, and I remember finding out that he didn't care much for him. I remember saying, it's because he's not Joey. My mom thought I was crazy. And well, I knew that I was right.

I just didn't know til later how right I really was.......


Kristine said...

Girl, I am so freaking happy for you! You deserve nothing but the best! Loving you girlfriend!!

Eleanor Parker said...

I'm catching up with you this morning and so excited for you! You handled the goodbye with grace and class, good for you :)The sky is the limit, girlfriend! xx

Ellie said...
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Anonymous said...

I'm so excited and thrilled for you. Hugs -- Jasmine (ColoradoDreamin)