Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Courage & Happiness

I've been in Oklahoma 5 weeks, now. That's so hard to believe. Some days it seems like forever, and other days it seems just like yesterday that I left my home state of Kentucky.

Some days I wonder if I'm living a dream, and other days I wonder what the hell I'm doing. That all comes with change though, right? Everyone told me that this wouldn't be easy, and well I didn't expect it to be. Because if it was easy, then it wouldn't be worth it. But wow, I never dreamt that it would be so damn difficult. Unnecessary stress being caused by individuals that aren't happy I'm here, due to their own selfishness. Normal life stress and problems. And battling the past. Combine all of that, and boy oh boy, most of the time I don't know whether I'm coming or going.

The one thing I do have is faith. Faith that these negatives will turn into positives.  Faith that THIS is meant to be. He and I are meant to be. And faith, that we can overcome any storm that is put in our path.  Without faith, I'd be lost.

And with that being said, I found this on that lovely website Pinterest; and it is so fitting to my life right now. Maybe one day people will get it; and then again maybe they won't. This life is mine, and well my happiness and his, are number ONE!

Saturday, April 6, 2013


I’m not sure what I’m doing anymore.

I need to refocus my mind, my thoughts, my emotions to something a bit more positive. It seems lately that frustration and anger have took hold. I don’t like who I am, the person I’m seeing, or the way I’m feeling. I need peace, some alone time, and writing out of my thoughts.

For now, this is a start:

  • I’m grateful for you driving us a little out of the way on our way home the other day, just so I could see buffalo. For the first time. Live Buffalo. Of course, I took pictures.
  • I’m thankful for sunshine & warm spring days.
  • I’m thankful for peaceful days spent at home, alone. With just myself and my thoughts.
  • I’m thankful for our date night last night. An Italian Dinner and a couple drinks at the local bar.
  • I’m thankful for your shy, but proud smile, when someone congratulates you on having me by your side.
  • I’m thankful how you thought of me the other night, and asked if I wanted to ride “Funky” after you finished getting cattle up.

I know things are bumpy right now, but please know that I am forever grateful for the smallest of gestures that maybe sometimes I take for granted.

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